Lord of the Bracelets
by Cora-Moss Baggins
Summary: Um...i dunno, my friend was jusst bored in art, and this is what became of it...please read and review! we're not insane...well, not legally anyhow


Disclaimer: I guess technically all the chars belong to my bud Toad and me because we changed the names a little, but the chars that they were originally made from came from the greatest mind of all time (yes, I believe Tolkien was greater than Einstein, and I'm sure I'm not alone.) so I give all the credit to him! Well, not quite all of it, but whole heck of a lot of it!  
  
Ok, heres what happened. My friend Toad was done with her junk sculpture in art, and was really bored. My entire group of friends is obsessed with LOTR right now (actually half the school is) so it was the first thing that came to mind. Thus, a parody was born. She let me read it in band, and I personally loved it. I did some editing and we decided to post it on here. We've got a second chapter lined up, if all turns out well, so please review and tell us what u think!!! (we are NOT insane...well, not legally anyhow)  
  
*~* Natha Daca Thiaer!*~*  
  
One bright, cheery day a little kid named Todo walked into the town of Tree. Actually, he wasn't a little kid at all, he was a Bobbit. What's more, Todo was a Bobbit of the Phire, but no man of Tree knew this yet.  
  
Todo was of an odd folk, they thought. He came into Tree with just three companions- Pam, Flippin, and Kerry. The men of Tree thought they were a peculiar bunch, but Todo the strangest of them all. He came into Tree with a very nervous look about him. He kept clutching his pocket, in which resided a most powerful golden bracelet.  
  
The four peculiar Bobbits came to the gate of Tree, and immediately asked for directions to the Dancing Donkey. This was the village's local five star hotel, complete with a spa, work out room, and indoor pool. "Why would any one want to stay there?" thought the gatekeeper, but he gave them the directions nonetheless.  
  
Now, the going to Tree had not been easy for Todo and company. When Rudolph the Red had told Todo of the evil power of his bracelet, he also said to him that he would have to leave the Phire as soon as possible. There were evil things that had been awoken, and they were out to get Todo and his newly found jewelry. Todo had chosen to take with him three friends. First, he chose Pam the gardener for his loyalty, friendship, and inability to stick to things. Second, he took Flippin due to his humor and love to cook (especially that which he could toss into the air.) 3rd and finally he chose Kerry. This really wasn't in Todo's desires, Kerry was just tired of his old committee and campaign trail.  
  
Todo and the Bobbits had been faced with the first task of exiting the Phire unnoticed by its other inhabitants.  
  
So, as could be expected of a hobbit, Flippin made pancakes (using Pam's non-stick spray on the griddle, of course) and did exactly as his name so willingly suggested- flipped the pancakes out into a crowd of the Phire Bobbits. He was an expert pancake maker, so the whole thing turned out very well. However, Flippin also had very good aim while flipping his pancakes, and he aimed it just so that the fluffy goodness landed in the eyes of the Phire-folk. They were temporarily blinded, and Todo, Pam, Kerry, and a batter-laden Flippin managed to make a discreet escape.  
  
The Bobbits made for a small community by the name of Duckland. (Rumor had been going around in the Phire that Todo was moving here in order to escape his annoying relatives, the Bagsville-Sackins. Also, it was a well-known fact that Todo had a love for duck ponds.) They wanted to get there as soon as possible, but to do so meant passing through a dark and dangerous woods. It was here that they found their first sign of danger.  
  
The Bobbits were walking merrily along playing eye-spy at the time.  
"I spy something green and leafy!" said Pam.  
"A tree?" replied Todo in boredom.  
"How'd you know?! Ok, I spy something with a big brown trunk!"  
"Hmmm, a tree? And just a guess the next one is a tree. And the one after that is probably going to be a tree."  
"Wow, you're good." Pam was in awe of Master Todo's amazing brilliance.  
  
Suddenly, the sound of hooves had reached their ears. Remembering Rudolph's caution, Todo told the Bobbits to quickly get off the road and hide. And hide they did...behind a tiny sapling. A dark menacing form came into view riding... a pretty pink pony? It was too much for Pam (who was not used to this much hiking and had become delirious, as previously seen) He burst out in a fit of laughter. The creature, which had just been sniffing around thinking, "Who the heck cut the cheese?" heard Pam's laughter, and ran to the Bobbits' hiding place. Suddenly Kerry jumped out from behind the tree.  
  
"Vote for me!!!!" he screamed at the top of his lungs. The creature (which they later learned was called a Braceletwraith) was obviously a republican and ran off screaming at the top of his lungs.  
  
"I'm sure that's not the last we'll see of that," thought Todo. And (being the wonderful hobbit he is) was of course right. However, the other Bobbits wanted to continue on at the quickest pace possible. So, they trudged forward to Duckland, and then to Tree, where we last left them.  
  
Todo and company arrived at the Dancing Donkey in great time, and they cautiously approached the front counter. The figure behind it was a cheery looking man who had fallen asleep at his post. Looking on his chest they found a nametag that read, "Hi, my name is Butt-o-burr. May I help you?" Looking closer to the nametag, they found excessive curly chest hairs. But thats quit irrelevant to the story.  
  
"Um...sir?" Todo asked, startling Butt-o-burr into wakefulness.  
  
"Hello young mathters," he said in a lisp after regaining his composure. "Ifth your theeking a roomth, we got thome nithe cozy, Bobbit- thized onesth available, Mr...ooh!!!! Bracelet! I have one of thosthe!!!" He had caught the flicker of gold in Todo's pocket, and was now holding up his wrist revealing at least 29 or so different bracelet, some of which were seemingly very feminine. "Yoursth ith thso thiny though...thso thinier than any of mieth...I- BLUAAA!!!!!" *insert Bilbo face here*  
  
Todo stepped back. "Uh, my name is Mr. Bundlebill," he said as the man calmed down. Todo was still a little disturbed by the whole ordeal though. "We're friends of Rudolph the Red. Can you tell him we've arrived?"  
  
Butt-o-burr had now completely snapped out of his freakiness. "Rudolph? Rudolph! Rudolph the Red! Oh, yes, now I remember! Big shiny red nose, large antlers... Haven't seen him since last Christmas." Todo and his friends exchanged nervous glances. What could this mean?  
  
MEANWHILE...  
  
Rudolph the Red found himself as a hostage by a shape of what had once been Santa. But all that remained was an evil form of the Santa that had been. He was now Santamon the Black, and even his elves had run to cower in fear (most now lived in Quirkwood or Gothlorien.) Rudolph currently resided at the top of the Porthanc inside Pies-N-Guard.  
  
How had he come to be here? Well, last Christmas when Santamon became evil, he replaced his elves with Porks. Rudolph and all of the other reindeer/wizards foresaw a shadow and a threat growing in the east. Rudolph noted the conspiracy and by unanimous decision, the reindeer/wizards quit working for the bastard.  
  
They had infact been right, as just two weeks later Santamon hired the We-are-high to replace them. Rudolph, at the time of his capture, was simply returning to Pies-N-Guard for his last check.  
  
However, Santamon, being his wicked and not-so-jolly self refused to pay Rudolph saying that he hadn't finished out the month. They got into a fight, and before long staffs were flying, blood was being shed, and prisoners were being taken. Stupid Santamon.  
  
Rudolph wasn't that scared though. Infact, he was having a lot of fun! He was entertaining himself by throwing bows down at the Porks, which turned out to be a bad thing, since the Porks would just throw them back at him. So then he focused his attention on the We-are-high. He sneered at their smiles-Santamon obviously hadn't included a dental-care plan in their contracts.  
  
Also Rudolph quickly tired of eating pie all the time. So he decided to order a pizza (with extra mushrooms) from East of Mothcago. He waited days for the pizza, but it never came.  
  
The constant pies began to drive Rudolph crazy. He blamed the stupid moth he had ordered from. It had probably one of those stupid teens looking to make a fast buck. Soon, Rudolph became suicidal without his pizza (with extra mushrooms) and he tried to jump off the Porthanc. However, he was foiled when a giant eagle flew beneath him. "Stupid eagles, "he thought, "always showing up at the most in convenient times!" There was nothing he could do to stop it though. The eagle took him to the fiery pits of Live-in- Hell, a most fair elven city run by Lord Dellrond and his loyal elven computer geeks...  
  
Will Todo and company ever destroy the evil bracelet?  
  
Was it the eagle that took the long sought after pizza?  
  
Dude, is Rudolph getting a dell???  
  
Will we continue this? Tell me what u think, and then we'll know. Please review!!! 


End file.
